The series begins with Living with Uncertainty. When I was working on this piece, there were many changes happening in my life at once, including many losses. The ground on which I stood crumbled. I could not make choices or plans because I was nowhere in particular and had no new place to go to.
Death of Innocence Revisited - The uncertainty I was experiencing lead to my feeling at-risk, fearful, and triggered a traumatic memory that further heightened the emotional charge. Through the work, I was able to express the painful and intense emotions. The memory surfaced and with it the understanding of why my sense of uncertainty was more painful and fearful than logic told me current circumstances warranted. Emotionally, I was living in the past.
Portal - In time I stopped resisting the emotional journey I was on and allowed myself to be where I was and go where I was going. I knew from experience that when all my energy is going unsuccessfully into resistance, it is better to surrender. I gave in and trusted, as best I could, my journey and myself. In doing so, space opened up within the turmoil, providing a portal to move through.
If it enhances your appreciation of the work to know the artist's perception, here is a brief outline for the series. Please do not let what I say hinder your personal experience of the pieces. They are offered as adventures for the imagination; enter them and make them your own.
Abiding and Prayerful are hopeful. There is no longer a sense of being in trouble alone. I experience the presence of other spirits abiding with me. Integration is taking place. Though the journey is not an easy one, I feel supported.
Living with The Mystery - A dramatic shift has been made from the fearful, restricted sense of uncertainty (where this journey began), to the hugely expansive, universal sense of Living with The Mystery. Instead of bracing against the unknown, I am embracing it. Accepting that this is the nature of life, I no longer experience it as negative. This piece has a lot of vitality and joyful excitement. It is full of mystery and it keeps changing. You think you see a sphere, or moon, and then it seems to disappear. You just can't be certain what is real and what is not. Nothing is solid.
Whole - The final piece is clear and simple. It is still filled with mystery, as they all are, but there is no turmoil in it. I feel more closely connected in this piece, more defined, complete and whole.
